Expanded Edition

This expanded edition includes faith-based insights throughout, plus an added chapter with supportive application and wisdom from senior Christian women in the workplace.

Millions of women gained eye-opening insights about the inner lives of men through Shaunti Feldhahn's best-selling book For Women Only. Now with The Male Factor, Feldhahn brings her innovative research approach to the workplace to help women understand their male colleagues. Based on a nationwide survey and confidential interviews with thousands of men whose anonymity was guaranteed, her book reveals the private thoughts and attitudes that men rarely disclose but every woman needs to know.

Never before has an author gotten inside the hearts and minds of men in the workplace--from CEOs to nonprofit managers, from lawyers to factory workers--to discover what they commonly think about women on the job, what their expected "rules" of the workplace are, what "managing emotion" means, and what factors improve or harm a man's respect for a female co-worker.

Among the little-known but critical insights The Male Factor reveals are:

o how men, with rare exception, view almost any emotional display as a sign that the person can no longer think clearly (as well as what men perceive as emotion in the first place)
o why certain types of trendy attire may actually sabotage a woman's career
o which little-known signals ensure that a man's perception of a strong female colleague is positive ("assertive and competent") instead of negative ("difficult")

Even women who have navigated male-dominated work environments for years have expressed surprise at these and other revelations in the book. Some readers may find them challenging. Yet The Male Factor delivers a one-of-a-kind opportunity for women to understand how male bosses, colleagues, subordinates, and customers privately think, and why they react the way they do. These vital insights enable each woman to make informed decisions in her unique workplace situation.

In this expanded Christian edition, Feldhahn builds on the same research and information as in the general-market edition, but speaks directly to the interests and questions of women of faith, whether their workplace is a part-time ministry or a Fortune 500 corporation. This edition of The Male Factor also delivers invaluable advice from senior Christian women who have broad experience in dealing with these questions, understand and share the reader's values, and want to help other women achieve the best possible work relationships.


From the Hardcover edition.

CHAPTER 1
A New Skill Set

"Are you saying women don't already know that?"

The charismatic African-American businessman sitting next to me in first class looked at me in disbelief. I was flying home from speaking at a women's conference, and we were only a few minutes into the usual "What do you do?" airplane conversation. Then I shared something that apparently stunned him.

I had explained that I was a financial analyst by training, had worked on Wall Street, and was now, unexpectedly, an author and speaker about relationships.

His inevitable question: "What's your main topic?"

"Men." I grinned at his wry expression. "I spent a few years interviewing and surveying a few thousand men. My last book, For Women Only, identifies ways that men tend to think and feel privately, that women tend not to know."

He folded his arms across his chest, and it was his turn to chuckle. "OK," he said, "hit me with one."

So I shared one of my findings about men--one that I will share with you in the following pages--and that is when the amusement turned to disbelief.

When I confirmed that even the most astute women may not know that particular truth about men, I could see that suddenly, his thoughts were off in a universe of their own.

"That explains something!" he finally said. "You see, I'm a corporate trainer and consultant. Fortune 100 corporations bring me in to help with leadership and strategy at the highest levels of the organization. And all too often, I see skilled and talented women sabotage their careers because they treat the men they work with in a way that no man would treat another man."

He looked at me with awakening interest. "But from what you're telling me, these women probably don't even realize that that is what they are doing."

It was my turn to be interested, and my notebook and pen were already out. "Can you give me an example?"

"I'll give you an example of something that just happened a few hours ago." For the next few minutes, he told me his story (which I'll relay in a later chapter), and concluded, "I was so puzzled why this female executive would shoot herself in the foot like that! But
perhaps she simply didn't understand how her actions would be perceived by her colleagues--colleagues who were mostly men."

THE HOLE IN THE BUCKET

The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to
notice. And, because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is
little we can do to change until we notice how our failing to notice
shapes our thoughts and deeds. --R. D. LAING

In recent decades, organizations across America have developed a bucket of programs to help advance or retain women. Many approaches have been quite effective; others, better in theory than in practice. We've seen a surge in management attention to work/life balance issues--particularly to retain working moms--and a corresponding surge in flextime, telecommuting, and other options. Businesses and industry groups are increasingly fostering female networks and mentoring relationships as an alternative to playing golf with the guys, and are emphasizing professional development for rising women. Organizations large and small have studied and trained their people on avoiding sexual harassment, and on the unique needs of female workers, customers, and stakeholders. Gender-equity task forces have proliferated.

But as valuable as those efforts are, I've come to realize that they leave a significant hole. We can be skilled, talented, highly educated, mentored, and networked--and yet trade all of that away by unintentionally undermining...